Ten Days of Apologies

By Heshy Friedman for JewishMag.com

The ten days beginning with Rosh Hashanah and concluding with Yom Kippur are known as the “Ten Days of Penitence.” Maimonides, codifier of Jewish law, describes how one should do teshuva (penitence). The individual must admit his/her sin, be ashamed of the transgression, and resolve never to do it again. If one has hurt another person physically or financially, paying the victim is necessary but not sufficient. The perpetrator must ask the victim for forgiveness and show sincere remorse. Apologies are an important part of these holy days.

Let us examine what is arguably the worst apology ever. It was on an episode of the classic television show, the Honeymooners. Ralph Kramden is apologizing to his wife, Alice, for calling her mother a blabbermouth:

Hello, Alice. This is me, Ralph. Alice, I'm sorry. I'm miserable without you. Please come back to me, Alice. I apologize for everything I said. I even apologize to your mother. I know she doesn't mean the things she says, Alice. It's just her nature. She doesn't mean to be mean. She's just born that way. When she says things about your old boyfriends and about the furniture in the apartment, I know that she doesn't mean to get me mad. She's just naturally mean, that's all. When she spilled the beans about the end of the play, I shouldn't have got mad at that. I should've expected it from her. I know how she is. She's never gonna be any different, Alice! She's gonna be the same old way, Alice! SHE'S A BLABBERMOUTH, ALICE! A BLABBERMOUTH!

Before apologizing, it might be a good idea to view this video clip so that you know what not to do. That is clearly not the way to show remorse. Neither is telling someone, “I am sorry you feel that way,” or stating that “If anyone has been hurt by my actions, I am sorry.” The fictional television character, Sheldon Cooper’s apology to Dr. Gablehauser, his boss, in the “The Big Bang Theory” is not much better than Ralph Kramden’s: “We may have gotten off on the wrong foot when I called you an idiot. I was wrong... to point it out.”

Remorse is about wishing the past mistake had not occurred and making sure it never happens again. Some use the acronym of the “Five R’s as a way to remember what needs to be done: Recognition, Remorse, Repentance, Restitution, and Request for forgiveness. According to researchers in the area, the main reason that people do not apologize is because they are afraid the apology will be seen as a sign of weakness and/or guilt. In reality, an apology indicates great strength as it is a munificent act that restores and rehabilitates the self-concept of the offended party.

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Roaming Europe in Search of Yiddish Joy

 To hear some people tell it, you'd think Jewish history was one long calamity: the Spanish Inquisition, the expulsion, pogroms and, of course, the Holocaust. Didn't European Jews ever smile or sing or enjoy life?

Actually, yes. That's the message the Helix Project is passing on to young Jewish scholars.

Helix is a project of Yiddishkayt, a Los Angeles organization dedicated to spreading the joys of European Judaism. For too long, the group believes, students have been taught about Jewish loss, "but not what was lost. When Jewish culture is taught from its endpoints, the Holocaust is allowed to triumph over the memory of the vibrancy of Jewish life."

Last year, Helix sent 6 students to Europe to explore the richness of Yiddish culture, and this summer, they sent 12 more. One participant, Alana Fichman of Santa Rosa, California, felt a previous visit to European concentration camps only told part of the story. "It was not the barracks of the death camp that defined my ancestry. I want to meet the people."

Through this cool new project, students like Fichman can learn not how their ancestors died, but how they lived.

- Marc Davis for Jewniverse

New Jersey Senate Candidate Cory Booker Knows His Torah. So What?

How the Newark mayor’s adopted Jewish identity—shaped by his Orthodox mentors—reflects his unique brand of politics

By Yair Rosenberg for Tablet Magazine

Last May, when Cory Booker, the 44-year-old mayor of Newark, N.J., got up to address the graduating class of Yale University, he warned them he was going to do something out of the ordinary. “Today, I want to do something a little different than you were probably expecting from this Christian man from Newark, N.J.,” Booker began. “I want to do something that has probably never been done before at this university. I want to stand here as a Christian goy in all of my non-Jewish self and give you all a d’var Torah.”

It was a bold statement from a politician who may be most famous for rescuing a constituent from a burning building. Jews are no strangers to public officials appropriating the particulars of their faith for the purposes of political pandering, whether it’s former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin flashing a Star of David pendant, Texas Gov. Rick Perry lighting the menorah, or Vice President Joe Biden crediting Jewish social-justice activists with an outsized “85 percent” of the changes in popular attitudes toward gay rights. But this wasn’t a speech to a local Jewish Federation chapter or the annual AIPAC convention in Washington, where such rhetoric would be expected. This was a commencement address at one of America’s premier secular institutions of higher learning. And yet Booker decided to deliver it with a Jewish inflection, for seemingly no reason other than the fact that he wanted to.

Booker is often compared to another charismatic African-American Democrat: Barack Obama. In fact, the first person to have drawn the parallel may have been Booker himself. “Cory was obviously someone who was identified early on as someone who may be the first black president,” recalled Booker’s friend Ben Karp. “I was in the car with him in 1999,” Karp went on, “and I said to him, ‘Well, who do you think your rivals are? Harold Ford or Jesse Jackson Jr.?’ And Cory said to me, ‘Yeah, but there’s this guy in Chicago and his name is Barack Obama, and he’s super-talented.’ ”

On paper, the two men share many attributes. Both have distinguished academic pedigrees—Obama’s law degree is from Harvard, Booker’s is from Yale. Both began their political careers as community organizers. And both were deeply affected by their early encounter with the Jewish community. But like many of their surface similarities, this last one proves superficial. Each man found his way to very different parts of the Jewish world—a distinction that points to very real divergences in their personal and political outlooks.

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Quick Guide to Holidays 5774 - 2013

Rosh HaShannah, Yom Kippur, Succot, Simchat Torah and in between

Tishre is the name of the Jewish month in which Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Succot fall. Although Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of the Jewish year, and the first day of the Jewish month of Tishre, and is the first day of the year, Tishre is the seventh month in the Jewish year. The first month of the year is Nissan, the month in which Passover comes.

Tishre has more holidays than any other month, as we shall list:

S'lichot services begin for Askenazim on Saturday night, August 31th. It is traditional to begin the first service right after midnight. If it is not possible, S'lichot may be started on Sunday morning, September 1st. By the way, according to our Jewish tradition, it happens to come out that this year the date that G-d began creating the world falls on Saturday, August 31th.

Rosh Hashanah is the holiday that celebrates the Jewish New Year. It falls on the first and second days of the month of Tishre. The two-day holiday is the only holiday that is celebrated both in Israel and in the Diaspora for two days. All other major holidays are celebrated in Israel for only one day and in the Diaspora for two days. Rosh Hashanah is the Day of Judgment for the entire world not just the Jews. All souls pass before Him and His heavenly court to be judged for their actions and deeds of the previous year and to receive a decree for the coming year.

This year, 2013, Rosh Hashanah comes on Thursday and Friday, September 5th and September 6th. Remember the Jewish festivals begin when the sun sets so that means that we sit down for our festive meal upon returning from the synagogue on Wednesday night, September 4th

Eruv Tavshelin: Since this year the first two days of Rosh Hashanah come immediately before the Shabbat, and since it is forbidden to cook on the Yom Tov for the Shabbat, it is necessary to make an "eruv tavshelin" which is a process by which we begin to prepare for the Shabbat before the Yom Tov begins, and by virtue of this beginning, we are permitted to continue cooking even on Friday, the second day of Rosh Hashanah. To make an "eruv tavshilin", take a boiled egg (or other cooked food such as a piece of meat or fish) together with a loaf of bread that is to be eaten on the Shabbat and make the blessing, "...who has sanctified us by His commandments and commanded us concerning the precept of Eruv." This blessing can be found in most High Holiday prayer books. After this blessing, recite the following, "By virtue of this Eruv it is permitted to us to bake, cook, warm the food, light the candles and do all work that is necessary on the holiday for the Shabbat." This must be done before the festival and not on it.

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Jewish Student Killed In Egypt Was Activist For Peace

Andrew Pochter, the American student stabbed to death Friday during a protest in Egypt, was active in Hillel and motivated by a desire to encourage peace and democracy in the region.

“He went to Egypt because he cared profoundly about the Middle East, and he planned to live and work there in the pursuit of peace and understanding,” said a Facebook post reportedly put up by his family, according to Reuters.
Pochter, 21, of Chevy Chase, Md., was killed during a protest against the Muslim Brotherhood in Alexandria. He reportedly was teaching English there to children and studying Arabic.

He was to enter his junior year at Kenyon College in Ohio in the fall. The Facebook post said Pochter expected to study in Jordan next spring.
The Forward reported that Pochter had served as a co-manager of Kenyon’s Hillel, where he was asked to give a speech to fellow students marking Rosh Hashanah last year.

“Entering the New Year really resonated with him,” Marc Bragin, director of the Kenyon Hillel, told the Forward. “He was so excited just to go out and discover things. His passion really came out that Rosh Hashanah morning.”

Bragin added, “What really stands out to me about Andrew is how incredibly welcoming he was to different people and to different ideas. He had a passion for learning, for learning about other people and other cultures.”

Blogging Anti-Semitism

by Ilana Newman in Toronto for Global Jewish Voice

Yesterday my friend’s boyfriend said that Jews run the world.

Well, not quite in so many words. But the sentiment was there.

I made a brief (and perhaps ill-advised, in a non-Jewish context) joke about the mythical Zionist Occupation Government, but this guy didn’t seem to understand that it was a joke. He nodded, saying, “It’s true, there are so many Jews in positions of power- just look at Hollywood, and the banks!” An uneasy silence ensued, in which I, the only Jew in the small group gathered (ironically, at Aroma, the Israeli coffeeshop franchise), realized that I didn’t know how to call this guy out on his casual and awkward anti-Semitism.

So I didn’t say anything.

I’ve become more and more aware, in the last several months, of a burgeoning anti-Jewish sentiment in the world— there are, of course, obviously antisemitic events like hate crimes (which have, incidentally, been on the rise in the last few years), or the rise of Hungary’s über-nationalist Jobbik party (which is, tellingly, featured positively on the website of white supremacist organization Stormfront).

I am privileged to live in a country like Canada, where my rights as a member of an ethno-religious minority group are protected under the law. I remind myself every day that not everyone is so lucky, and that even my country, which can be very loud about its “salad-bowl” or “mosaic” culture (as opposed to the United States’ “melting pot” ideal) is nonetheless home to a distressing amount of Islamophobia and racism/colorism. And because of the internet and social media, we live in a world that has simultaneously become, paradoxically, ever-larger and ever-smaller. Everything is only a few keystrokes away, and that includes the darker parts of the world, the things people think they say in secret.

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Challah for Hunger through the Eyes of a Transitioning Founder

by Eli Winkelman for ejewishphilanthropy.com

As the founding executive of Challah for Hunger transitioning my primary affiliation to a Board role, I wanted to bring you into the world as I see it at this point.
Back in 2004, during my first year at Scripps College, I began baking challah with friends, just for fun. Others joined in, and week after week people came back, complaining that “their friends ate all their challah.” Something clicked: people liked learning to bake challah; others wanted to buy the loaves. And so the first chapter of Challah for Hunger was born.

Since then, we’ve grown, purely by word of mouth, to more than 60 chapters in the U.S., Canada, the U.K., and Australia. Our volunteers bake creatively flavored challah, sell it, and donate the profits to social justice organizations. Chapters give half their proceeds to one shared cause, and each chapter’s volunteers act as a giving circle to allocate the other half. Over the past nine years, we’ve raised nearly half a million dollars for organizations including American Jewish World Service, the Blue Mountain Humane Society, Sharsheret, and Projecto Jardin.

For the last nine years, I’ve had the privilege to serve as Challah Enthusiasm Officer. Many nonprofits declare a vision to put themselves “out of business.” Challah for Hunger is not one of them. Our volunteers practice teamwork, hone skills (from kitchen navigation to tzedakah allocation), build bridges within the Jewish community and beyond, and most importantly to me at this time, make meaningful connections. Why would we ever want to go “out of business”?

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